That was how long our family was in limbo. It might not sound like that much, but when your whole life is turned upside down, it's an eternity. My husband had to live with relatives because he was falsely accused of child abuse. My daughter and I were forced to live alone. Almost 4 months: June 6, 2009 to October 1,2009., and we were one of the lucky ones. I've found stories online of people whose battles lasted YEARS.
There are lots of stories online. There are lots of stories out there. The figures out there would shock you. In PA alone, in 2007, 24,021 reports of suspected child and student abuse were received , only
4,162 reports of suspected child and student abuse were substantiated.
Approximately 20,000 families went through this in 2007 and there was not enough SUBSTANTIAL EVIDENCE to render a "verdict" of guilty in their cases.
Lawyers and law enforcement officers know never to put themselves in a situation where they could be alone with any child in their homes. Did you? We didn't.
Children across the country have playdates everyday. As a parent, you need to know the danger that puts you in.
Don't think it can't happen to you.
It can.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
a call for Your stories.
If you find this blog and you have been through a similar situation with child protection services, we would like to know. This kind of FAMILY ABUSE cannot be tolerated. We need to make people aware of the dangers you could be putting your family in simply by arranging a playdate for your child.
My daughter is a very sociable child. She loves to meet new people. She actually considers it to be "her job." To have to tell her that she can only have playdates or sleepovers with people we consider to be "family" is not going to be easy for her to understand. But anyone who is familiar with these types of situations cautions the same thing: DON"T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN;
DON"T EVEN TAKE THE CHANCE. You cannot afford it.
Now that the holiday season is over and the dead of a very cold winter is upon us, I hope to have more time to devote to this blog. If we can warn even a few people families to protect themselves, it will be worth it. I look forward to hearing from you.
My daughter is a very sociable child. She loves to meet new people. She actually considers it to be "her job." To have to tell her that she can only have playdates or sleepovers with people we consider to be "family" is not going to be easy for her to understand. But anyone who is familiar with these types of situations cautions the same thing: DON"T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN;
DON"T EVEN TAKE THE CHANCE. You cannot afford it.
Now that the holiday season is over and the dead of a very cold winter is upon us, I hope to have more time to devote to this blog. If we can warn even a few people families to protect themselves, it will be worth it. I look forward to hearing from you.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Our Family Survived a battle with CPS!
After 4 long months apart, my family actually survived a drawn out battle with local Child Protection Services. Some said it couldn't be done. But we went into this nightmare as a FAMILY and came out of it as a FAMILY still.
Our nightmare began June 6th, 2009.
We had just sat down to dinner after a hard day of yard work, when 3 policemen and a social worker pulled up our driveway. One of the officers then began to question my husband about a playdate the previous day that my child and a classmate had had at our house. Allegations were made that my husband had abused not only the classmate but OUR OWN daughter as well.
We were shocked beyond belief. The social worker forced us to make a "safety plan" for the safety of my child. This involved my husband leaving the house and being separated from my daughter and myself. If my husband did not voluntarily leave HIs/Our house, they would take our daughter away. Our daughter that was brought to us after a 21 month foreign adoption process; our daughter came to us when she was 13 months old; our daughter who was the light of our lives. Needless to say, THAT was NOT AN OPTION! So at the end of that weekend, my husband moved out and my daughter stayed with me;
From that point on, our single focus became clearing him of these allegations (they never even officially became charges) and getting our family back together as soon as possible. We would no longer worry about bills, or homework or what we would be doing on summer vacation. We were fighting for the life of our Family. Little did we know, nothing about this process would be done " ASAP". We were willing to do whatever had to be done to resolve this quickly. Unfortunately, we would learn instead that NOTHING we COULD do would make this go quickly. We learned the CPS game of "hurry up and wait."
The majority of families that go through this are falsely accused. The majority of families that go through this don't have attorneys that are familiar with the games that CPS plays. The majority of families that go through this don't have the time or the funds to mount an attack on this agency of destruction. We were one of the few.
We are doing this blog to inform others who may be in similar situations that we are not alone. There are things you can do to keep your family together. If you have a similar story, please add your story to this site.
Our nightmare began June 6th, 2009.
We had just sat down to dinner after a hard day of yard work, when 3 policemen and a social worker pulled up our driveway. One of the officers then began to question my husband about a playdate the previous day that my child and a classmate had had at our house. Allegations were made that my husband had abused not only the classmate but OUR OWN daughter as well.
We were shocked beyond belief. The social worker forced us to make a "safety plan" for the safety of my child. This involved my husband leaving the house and being separated from my daughter and myself. If my husband did not voluntarily leave HIs/Our house, they would take our daughter away. Our daughter that was brought to us after a 21 month foreign adoption process; our daughter came to us when she was 13 months old; our daughter who was the light of our lives. Needless to say, THAT was NOT AN OPTION! So at the end of that weekend, my husband moved out and my daughter stayed with me;
From that point on, our single focus became clearing him of these allegations (they never even officially became charges) and getting our family back together as soon as possible. We would no longer worry about bills, or homework or what we would be doing on summer vacation. We were fighting for the life of our Family. Little did we know, nothing about this process would be done " ASAP". We were willing to do whatever had to be done to resolve this quickly. Unfortunately, we would learn instead that NOTHING we COULD do would make this go quickly. We learned the CPS game of "hurry up and wait."
The majority of families that go through this are falsely accused. The majority of families that go through this don't have attorneys that are familiar with the games that CPS plays. The majority of families that go through this don't have the time or the funds to mount an attack on this agency of destruction. We were one of the few.
We are doing this blog to inform others who may be in similar situations that we are not alone. There are things you can do to keep your family together. If you have a similar story, please add your story to this site.
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